Self-love is not a luxury; it is a necessity for living a fulfilled and balanced life. By cultivating a strong sense of self-worth and care, you can better navigate challenges, build healthier relationships and achieve personal growth.
If you find it difficult to focus on loving yourself, Jordan Allison, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at Mercy Health – Urbana Family Medicine Pediatrics, has a few tips that can serve as a guide to help you on your journey.
First, practice self-compassion.
We are often our own harshest critics. Replace self-criticism with kindness by speaking to yourself as you would a dear friend. When you make a mistake, remind yourself that no one is perfect. Treat setbacks as opportunities to learn, not as reasons to berate yourself.
Practicing self-compassion also includes cultivating a positive inner dialogue. Try replacing negative self-talk with affirmations and encouraging statements. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” try, “I am capable and worthy.” Repeating positive affirmations daily can help rewire your mindset over time.
Second, set healthy boundaries.
Learning to say no is a powerful act of self-love. Respect your time and energy by setting boundaries that protect your well-being. This may mean limiting interactions with toxic people, declining extra responsibilities when you’re already overwhelmed, prioritizing time for yourself and even limiting your time on social media.
“If you know that social media is a trigger for you, avoid social media,” Dr. Allison suggests. “Don’t subject yourself to hours of endless scrolling.”
Third, take time to feel your emotions.
We experience so many emotions every day. Make sure you are taking the time to process each of these emotions and think about why you are feeling them. Don’t just brush them off or bury them down deep.
“Acknowledge the feelings,” Dr. Allison adds. “Whatever those feelings may be. If they are sadness, if it’s bitterness, if it’s anger, allow yourself to acknowledge that feeling being real.”
If you don’t take time to acknowledge your feelings, especially negative ones, they can cause problems for you further down the road.
Fourth, prioritize self-care.
Self-care goes beyond spa days and bubble baths. It includes eating nourishing foods, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep and managing stress. Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether that’s reading, gardening or practicing mindfulness.
Also, spend time doing things that resonate with your core beliefs and passions. Whether it’s volunteering, pursuing a creative hobby or working toward a meaningful goal, aligning your actions with your values fosters a sense of purpose and self-respect.
Fifth, surround yourself with supportive people.
The people you spend time with can significantly impact your self-perception. So, seek out relationships that uplift and encourage you. And also, let go of connections that drain your energy or make you feel unworthy.
“There is always someone that loves you and adores you, whether that be your dog, your volunteer core group, your friends, your family, there is always someone,” Dr. Allison shares.
And sixth, seek professional help if needed.
If you’re struggling with self-love due to deep-seated issues, like trauma or mental health challenges, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can provide you with tools and insights to heal and grow.
Loving yourself is not a one-time act but an ongoing practice. It’s about showing up for yourself every day, even when it feels difficult. By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can build a foundation of self-respect and care that empowers you to thrive.
Learn about the primary care services and behavioral and mental health services we provide at Mercy Health.
